The Sermon for Peter and Paul, Apostles Sunday
Sticks and Stones
By The Rev. Eric Christopher Shafer -
“Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words can never hurt you.” I actually remember hearing that on the playground at Wyomissing Grade School when I was a student there. And I knew from personal experience that those words are a lie.
Words can really hurt and kill.
As many of you have seen in the newspaper or on social media, Mt. Olive member Daniel Callahan took his own life on June 23 outside of John Adams Middle School. Thousands learned of his death via a statement issued by the Santa Monica-Malibu Unified School District Superintendent.
Daniel’s death only proves again that words can really hurt and kill.
Despite what seemed to be almost daily efforts by Daniel and many attempts by John Adams Middle School staff and faculty and other parents, Daniel could not stop the bullying which was hurting his son, Liam. Chasing, slapping and cruel, cruel words. Daniel was despondent that he could not help Liam, that he could not protect, he could not provide for his son who was the light of his life. So, Daniel gave up and ended his life in a very public suicide outside of John Adams.
Now, of course, it was not as simple as that. Daniel had major physical health problems that were only getting worse. He was terribly affected by his father’s recent death. And he just felt that no matter how much love he had for his son, it just was not enough. So, he ended his own life in a very public way.
Four years ago, after the suicide of actor Robin Williams I shared with you some reflections on suicide and our Christian faith. I repeated some of those words about suicide just a few weeks ago when the suicides of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade were all over the media and, again, seemed to resonate with so many in our community, around the nation and even around the world.
I have previously shared some helpful words from the Christian writer, Anne Lemott. I think they are worth repeating even if they do not directly apply to Daniel Callahan’s death.
Lemott writes from her personal experience, “if you have a genetic predisposition toward mental problems or addiction, life here on earth feels like you were just left off here one day, with no instruction manual, and no idea of what you were supposed to do; how to fit in; how to find a day’s relief from the anxiety, how to stay one step ahead of the abyss.”
Lemott adds, “Here is what is true: a third of the people you adore and admire in the world and in your families have severe mental illness and/or addiction.”
As I shared with you several weeks ago, suicide continues to be a major problem in the USA and now the largest single killer of youth and adults with more than 45,000 suicides in the USA last year alone. Think of that statistic – that is about one suicide every 12 minutes in our country! Suicide is growing among young people and military veterans but it’s largest growth is among white males over age 50. Folks like Robin Williams, Anthony Bourdain and Daniel Callahan. And depression so often goes hand-in-hand with suicide. Unlike Daniel, but in so many others, suicide can follow alcohol and drug abuse and, often, heart disease.
I want to repeat several things I said four years ago and just recently again about suicide. First, it is not, it is never God’s plan for someone to take his or her own life. Not ever. Never.
However, it is also true that God loves every person, even those who commit suicide. God has a special concern for those in greatest need and I hope we would all agree that people who take their own lives are among those in greatest need of God’s unconditional love.
These are important words to share and share again. Some people continue to believe that a person who commits suicide cannot go to heaven or even that they go to hell. This is a misinterpretation of the writings of St. Augustine and has not been part of Christian theology and practice since the Middle Ages. And such a misinterpretation was never part of our Lutheran theology, from the teachings of Martin Luther until today.
So, let me be clear again,
while God does not want any person to take his or her own life,
people who commit suicide are welcome in heaven. No question.
When I first shared some of this four years ago, I was told afterward that a man who was at worship that day, someone who was not a member of our congregation, this man turned to a member next to him after my sermon and said, “Do not believe Pastor Shafer, people who commit suicide are going to hell.”
And I have heard similar conversations, condemning those who commit suicide to hell, around Santa Monica this past week also.
So, one more time. You really can believe me. And Martin Luther. And hundreds of years of Christian tradition and teaching. God does not want any person to take his or her own life, but people who commit suicide are welcome in heaven. There is no question about this.
I like what theologian Fred Buechner says about suicide. Buechner writes, “It is absolutely critical to keep in constant touch with what is going on in your own life’s story and to pay close attention to what is going on in the stories of others’ lives. If God is present anywhere, it is in those stories that God is present. If God is not present in those stories, then they are scarcely worth telling.”
As Anne Lemott says, “Live stories worth telling! Stop hitting the snooze button. Try not to squander your life on meaningless” … tasks. Actually, Lemott, who is known for her graphic use of language, did not say “tasks” but I am cleaning up her language for this sermon. If you have read any of her work, you can guess what words she used.
Lemott continues, speaking to those needing help, “Get help. Be a resurrection story.” And, if you ask for help, Lemott adds, “You will be surprised by the arms of love like you have never, not once, imagined.”
It all goes back to that favorite text of mine from Romans 8, the one I used in the email I sent out on Friday about Daniel’s death – “Nothing can separate us from God’s love.” Not depression, not alcohol or drugs, not divorce or bullying or even suicide.
In today’s Gospel lesson from St. John’s Gospel, Jesus asks Simon Peter three times if Peter loves him. And each time Peter responds with his love for Jesus. Scholars believe this text is the reflection of, some say Jesus’ response to, Peter’s Holy Week denial of Jesus three times. Jesus tells Peter, who deserted and denied Jesus, that Peter is the one to “feed my sheep,” to love Jesus’ people, to begin Jesus’ church here on earth.
Peter had denied Jesus, three times. And Jesus forgave Peter. That is the level of Jesus’ forgiveness for Peter, Jesus’ love for Peter. It is also the level of Jesus’ love and forgiveness for you and me and everyone. Jesus loves and forgives us all.
Jesus loved Daniel Callahan. Jesus loves Anne Lemott and you and me. And, as Fred Buechner suggests, Jesus is calling us to live lives filled with stories worth telling, to take risks in life and love for others, no matter how broken they or we may be.
Take risks for others. Reach out to others in love. Step in when you see bullying. If you have a family member or friend who you have not heard from in a while, reach out. Today, do not wait. If you are considering or ever consider suicide, reach out for help.
Or, as Lemott wrote recently: The world “can yank us down. We need a lot of help getting back up. And even with our battered, banged up tool boxes and aching backs, we can help others get up, even when for them to do so seems impossible or at least beyond imagining.”
If you ask for help, you will be surrounded by God’s love, a love from which we, you and I, are inseparable. Today and always. Just ordinary folks like Daniel Callahan and you and me. Surrounded by God’s love and forgiveness. Today and always.
Amen
The Rev. Eric Christopher Shafer
Senior Pastor - Mt. Olive Lutheran Church
Santa Monica, California
Sunday, June 30 & July 1, 2018
